WARNING: Thoughts of Settling Down Ahead Proceed with Caution!

The topic this week on Life Out Loud: Roots. If this was talk radio the title of the show would be "Your Thirties Should Come with a Warning Sign!!!" I mean seriously, what the heck happened??? I am baffled. Mere weeks ago I was planning a life of adventure, simple living, working for myself, and seeing the world! How is it then that I am even considering this totally foreign concept of planting some roots? And I am not talking about a plant here and a tree there...I am talking about a whole freaking metaphorical farm: trees and plants and animals, and ahhhhh...I am exhausted just thinking about it. Somebody must have slipped something in my Pinot Noir? Why didn't anybody warn me that these creepy crawly little thoughts of settling down would slowly sneak their way into my head? I demand a refund!!!

But wait, calm down...

Ok, this could be something. I could quite possibly be on the brink of exploring something vast with all sort of hidden potential, right? Putting down roots doesn't mean I have to give up my adventures.

Maybe I can have both? Settling down quiets the soul enough to seek adventure for the sake of adventure, not for the sake of escape. I always wanted to escape. Leave the conformity of society, be a vagabond, do it differently...never stop. But all of a sudden this doesn't seem quite as appealing anymore, it just seems a little lonely. But, how do I find a balance with my need to explore and my longing for a place to rest?

I want a life of simplicity , I want to work for myself, surround myself with awesome + ness people, and generally just enjoy each day. I want to travel, see the world, meet more awesome + ness people and have amazing experiences in far away lands. BUT, I also want a home. At the end of the day, month, year, trip, etc...I want a place to come home to, with people who know and love me, and comfort and familiarity. Furthermore, I want a reason to come home. Don't get me wrong, the inner wanderlust in me will never die, I just understand now that home really is where the heart is.

I haven't felt home for a long time. I have felt lost, trying to find my way and make sense of it all; and I had planned to stay lost. I would travel, move, and never really commit to a life that kept me in one place too long. I always got antsy within a year of each job and every time I made a change it was usually drastic. New job meant new career path. Transition meant "vacation to new place needed stat". And I did just that. I traveled, met interesting people, experienced new things, worked too many jobs to count, and had too many career paths to mention. It was great, and exciting, but like bottomless vessel. When the adventure was over I was never comfortable just living. I always had another scheme brewing, another trip or change to plan. I felt like a nomad crossing the planes of life never really knowing where to land.

But now....now I know exactly where I want to land...and there is green chili, mountains, family, and sunshine.

For the first time I don't feel blocked from doing something long term. I am not hesitant to take a job that could lead toward a career, or start my own business that I can watch grow with this beautiful city, or even buy a house. I feel like I could put down a few roots...and I am OK with that.

After marinating on this concept of home, and putting down some roots, I have come to the conclusion that: A lack of grounding leaves one plagued with a fear of life commitment...searching for the perfect place to land, but never knowing in which direction to look. It leaves you lost at sea without a compass, just hoping you land on your Island Bliss.

Just as in life, an architect can design a dream home, but without a good plot of land and solid foundation, the blueprints are worthless. You can dream it, but if the heart is still looking for that place to rest...will you ever really build it????

"Yum Yum Coconut Gumdrop Pirates" Set Sail...Ahoy Mates!

I have been thinking a lot, a Lot, A LOT lately about transitions...specifically those pesky life transitions. I knew I was in a one because I told my self, and countless others, that I was. But, and this is a big BUT because when it hit me the other day I literally fell out of my chair. Yes, I admit this was in part induced by the copious amounts of vino rosso pumping through my veins and the hysterical convo I was having about said subject of transitions...but that is seriously the moment it really hit me.

Why?

Because I finally realized I was not the only one going through such a state. My WHOLE freaking awesome + ness group of amazing, talented, intelligent co-horts where in the same boat as me! We were all experiencing this moment of LOST....literally. Between jumping ship and setting sail for the Hawiian tropics...heading to the edge of the continent on both sides, and chasinging lighting, tornados and green goblins....we were all in this moment of big transitions...it wasn't just me. This was comforting because for a sec I felt a little less wacky (I said just for a sec...not sure if this will ever really go away and not sure if I really want it to).

While this knowledge of my "Lost at Sea" shipmates....

[and by lost I mean to infer that...if we were all stranded on a deserted island together at this moment in time...well we probably wouldn't be getting anywhere for a while....especially because two such co-horts kinda know how to make booze from just about anything and the rest of us, well lets just say....we don't really have a whole lotta reasons to WANT to get off this deserted island BLISS...we are all kinda trying to figure out how to get on it to be perfectly honest]

...was comforting, it was also a little bit heartbreaking because we were all plotting the stars towards different destinations. We had literally grown up together and as close as we all are and will stay, we are in this BIGGER than BIG moment of transition...dangling like pendulums in our qwests to create amazing mountains and seas of yummie gum drops to full fill our hearts desires. And while I am so pround of that fact, it leaves me realizing my own opportunities to set sail.

So here I am at this thirty-something stage...mucking through the "dirty" waters looking for my ship. I say dirty because right now the waters are pretty merky and are probably going to get a lot more "Swamp Thing" than "Into the Blue" before I find my course. But I am okay with that because I plan on really trying to clean it up and coming out on the other side fresh and clean, with a freaking awesome Pirate Ship to conqure the world on...eye patch included...just for eI effect :)

I have to remember though that it's not just my transition, it is all of ours....all of us hitting a fork in the road, all of us looking for a change, all of us hurling through the universe just trying to make sense of it. I am beginning to realize that LIFE is TRANSITION, always. Yes, sometimes these are bigger than big and sometimes they pass right through us without second thought....kinda like the third and forth glass of vino rosso I mentioned earlier... but, they are always there....moving, swishing, flowing, and transforming us into our next life.

This leads me to the big AAHA! moment....and the whole point of the "Yum Yum Coconut Gum Pirates"...thingy.

I can either a) be scared of the change, bury my head in the sand and keep doing exactly what I am doing hoping things will settle down and work themselves out.

But come on...we all know that is soooooo not my style....

I pick door 2) down the rabit hole....totally flipping the switch!

To do this I need to:

1. Look closely at what inspires me. What makes me laugh, smile, shine and be the absolute best me...and then do everything in my magical powers to make this yumminess my life.

2. Identify the stuuuuff that makes me sigh, cry, bleed and want to stay in bed all day watching Life Time...and then totally rid myself of the energy sucking leachy thingy's that creepy crawl through my life and eat all my gumdrops.

I think we all need to do this from time to time....clean house, start fresh, and really, I mean really use our energy to create the a life of our dreams. So here I go... testing the waters, crashing, sinking, swimming, and hopefully landing on a gorgeous island somewhere with lots of coconuts. Don't worry I will send postcards...oh wait no post offices on deserted islands....ok, so I will send you messages in a bottles filled with yum yum coconut gumdrops!

~Peace & Love~

Life Out Loud

P.S. This post may not make sense if you are not one of the said "Yum Yum Coconut Gumdrop Pirates"....but if it's kinda something you can dig...and you kinda get it...well then AHOY! I would kinda loves to hear from ya (just post a comment in the comment box thingy), because let's face it...if you "get it"...you are obviously an awesome + ness, talented, intelligent, person...thus possibly being worthy of getting your sea legs...(eye patches are optional but highly recommended).

(DISCLAIMER: those of you who have been totally awesome + ness and exuded super human strength by flipping the switch amongst some pretty major white squal style obstacles, breaking away, and not taking any prisoner's...I salute you....que standing ovation, screaming and yelling, cheering and totally embarrassing you like your mom at gradutaion!!!)

A little Cheezzze for your day

“If every word I said could make you laugh, I'd talk forever...”

~Author Unknown

We all need a little laughter in our lives, and let's face it most of us could use a whole lot more. When I need a good laugh, I mean a goooood one, like the kind that makes you just giggle uncontrollably at the most random of things...at this moment....I bring the CHEEEEZZZZEEE! So here are a few the silliest & cheeziest jokes that will put a smile on your face and laughter in your heart! Please feel free to share...

Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo Drizzle

What do you call onions and beans? Tear gas.

What do the Twilight Zone and the New York Sewer System have in common? DODODODODODODODO!

How do you get a Kleenex to dance? Put a little Boogie in it!!

What do you get if you cross a cocker spaniel, a poodle, and a rooster? A cockapoodledoo!

"A Day Without Laughter is a Day Lost" ~Charlie Chaplin

~Peace, Love & Laughter

Life Out Loud

Throwing Spaghetti

There's an old adage that life is like throwing spaghetti at the walls to see what sticks. This comes from the custom of actually throwing strands of cooked noodles at the wall, if it sticks it's done, if not, needs more time. While I like this philosophy of putting your self out there in life and seeing what happens, this is not my interpretation. Rather, I like to think of it as actually throwing cooked, sauced drenched spaghetti! Children do this all the time...screaming, laughing, and enjoying every minute of the grand mess they are making.

So here it is....life IS like throwing spaghetti. It's a riot making the mess, not so fun cleaning it up....but afterwards....well you have a clean slate for doing it all over again. Now I know this has a few loop holes. Yes, in life there are times when the decisions we make seem permanent...or are permanent. But, life is life right....who knows what the outcome could of, or would have been. "What if" truely is the most powerful question. What if I didn't throw the spaghetti, what if I never made that mess....well then your kitchen would be clean, but where's the "life" in that?

The way I see it, it's the messes we make that define us. At the grittiest moments, our character is defined and our strength shines through. If you throw the spaghetti, do you have fun and leave the wreckage for someone else to clean up, or do you enjoy the moment, deal with the consequences and move on to more saucy noodle fun? This is the moment of truth.....

I say:
"THROW YOUR SPAGHETTI!!!!"
...and enjoy every minute of it
...messes, clean up and all.


~Peace & Love~

I'm Baaaaack

Sorry I have been absent. I know all my dedicated readers have been longing for my insightful rambles. Well fret no further. I am back!

The other side is in Technicolor

You know that saying "the grass is always greener on the other side" well I have come to the realization that the grass is not greener...but rather in technicolor. It's like in those dreams that seem so real you think it is real, but when you wake up you realize, of course you were dreaming, for one everything was illuminated, and nothing really made sense. This is the real scenario of desire. We always want what we don't have, or want just one more thing to make us happy. But then we get it and poof...it ain't that great or we want something else. Why? How can something that holds so much power over us, driving every fiber in our being to seek it out, disappoint us in the end.

Because, it is in Technicolor! It is not reality. I think we tend to romanticize the things we don't have only to realize, they are just things, they are not magic beans! Without nurturing of our own self we will never be satisfied. Just because I buy a new car, or move to a new city, or change jobs, does not mean I will be infinitely happy. It is the most fulfilling when we learn to love and cherish what we already have. If we can do that, everything else just looks matte, not shinny and glowing...then the grass on the other side is not greener, it is just green, just like your own grass.

This is of course easier said than done. But what I have realized is that the mere acknowledgment of this phenomenon helps me to see the beauty in my own reality and not to day dream as much about an alternate possibility. I am learning, and trying very hard to live in the now, embrace the moment, and love what I already have.

What do you do to embrace yourself, to resist the temptation to jump the fence only to discover that the grass is the same, or better yet, not even there...it's desert landscaping!

Hurry up and wait!

I have been thinking a lot lately about Patience. While we all know the saying "patience is a virtue", it is a hard truth in a reality where instant everything exists. This has been something I have struggled with for years. I want everything now now now and I forget that I have the next sixty years or so to do these things.

Right now I am pushing thirty and I keep putting deadlines on everything from finishing school to getting married. I have found myself being extremely frustrated with the time it takes to accomplish these said goals. From fighting with my boyfriend to begrudging my small apartment, I am constantly in a state of chaos over my inability to be patient.

Nothing in my life is conducive to being patient. I rush rush rush all day long and yet somehow manage to accomplish nothing. How can I hold patience to a high standard in my life when everything around me is instant.

And then it hit me. The best things in life really are worth waiting for and good things are done with time and honor.

If I rushed to the alter, I would probably marry the wrong person. If I am patient, I will find true love, and thus true happiness.

If I rush through my education, I might end up with a degree I am not passionate about in a job that does not full fill me. But, if I am patient, then I am giving myself the time to question, ponder, and truly find my passion.

While these are simple statements, the idea behind them runs much deeper. It leaves me wondering why were are all in such a hurry. The answer, MONEY.

As out capitalist society grows and becomes faster and more efficient, so do our shortcuts to success. Make a quick buck to get the dream, right? But at what cost? Would I really be happier if I had finished my degree in business years ago and now lived in a 4 bedroom house with a pool and a dog, possibly kids, a 9-5 sales job, etc...

Gosh seems like that might get boring after 60+ years!

So I come to the conclusion that patience is the thing we all have, but only a few choose to embrace. I am so glad that I waited, and I will continue to wait until the right circumstances cross my path. And in my quest to be patient, I will live, travel, love, laugh, and find my beauty in everything!

Share your stories with me. How do you practice patience? How do you deal when you feel like things can't happen fast enough?